Slenderman and his Game
by jiress
Summary: Slenderman discovered a game based on him. He thought it was sweet. But it turns out, there are a LOT of things wrong with it. And HE is going to fix it. I was bored.


Okay Hi, Mr./Mrs./Ms. Internet. I think the internet might be a person but I'm not entirely sure. My friend Herobrine told me about how the internet is where a bunch of people can talk. But I heard that these things called Chatbots can too. So I think I'll just refer to you as a genderless kind of person.

Okay anyways, hi. My name is Slenderman, but Herobrine, my roommate calls me Slendy. I uh, like drawing, and watching TV, and my favorite kind of music is classical. Played by Australian people. In the Subway.

So anyways, Herobrine had recently finished playing Minecraft. We had heard this thing about him being in the game. He played it a bit, and he didn't see himself in the game. We looked it up, and unfortunately Herobrine isn't actually IN the game, he's just a myth, so that sucks. But Herobrine was hooked, and finished the entire game. He even was nice enough to make me my own little room in his house. He even added a little road that looks like a subway, and added jukeboxes to make it like music being played in the subway. I payed him back by NOT hitting him with a water balloon on his way to work. (Long story)

Anyway, he bought ANOTHER internet game, called Slender. He told me I was in it. Of course, I got super excited and decided to play it. Turns out, people have SUPER bad stereotypes about me, which aren't true. So I thought I would write to you, Internet, correcting these stereotypes.

1. I like dark places and foggy streets.

Okay, I HATE the dark. Why do you think I hung out with that guy holding a flashlight? HELLO? FlashLIGHT. I was hiking with Herobrine when he thought it was such a fantastic idea for us to go separate ways and see which one would get at the bottom first. Seeing how I had spent two hours of my life following a guy with a flashlight, you can tell that Herobrine won. (Stupid roommate.)

2. I kidnap children and murder them, leaving no trace of their body.

I think kidnapping children includes them screaming and taking them to a faraway place. I would never do that. But I do kinda take away children, but for a good reason. You see, I find stuffed animals, ALL the time. Oh look, there's a brown stuffed dog, just lying there. There's an eye missing, a hole in its neck, a bald spot on its belly, and all the stuffing is gone in its back leg, the right one to be precise. I can't find the owner anywhere. I just take it home. Repair its eye, sew up the hole, and replace the stuffing. I can't do anything about the dog's haircut, though.

Then I take children to an merely alternate dimension for a short while. If I just give the toy to them, their parents are going to yell "HOLY BISCUIT THAT GUY HAS NO FACE!".

Oh, Sorry sir, I didn't know I had no face. Sorry about that. –sarcasm-

Anyway, I greet the kid. What's nice is they don't really overreact about my facelessness. They just ask: "Why don't you have a face?"

I reply with "I was just born this way,". BAM. End of conversation. Then I just give them the toy and bring them back to their parents. I also sort of do this in the middle of the night and might give them some memory loss crap that has a _few _side effects, which the internet says is "Slenderman symptoms of Slender Sickness". HEY PEOPLE. I'M NOT A DISEASE. SHUT UP.

#3 I have appendages growing on my back.

This is true, for once. I do have appendages. 4 of them, growing right on my back. They aren't black thought. They're actually a nice dark moody blue, like the sky near night time. It's a nice color, actually. They're speckled, two, with white flecks, like stars. It's nice to have them, makes me feel like I'm freikin Doctor Octopus. I was an octopus once when I was in college. Herobrine went as an angler fish, using his eyes as the light, and it was awesome. We bought a bunch of Swedish fish and spent all night watching horror movies. But people use these awesome things to make stupid facts.

#4 I used my appendages to strangle my prey.

ENOUGH WITH THE MURDERING. What the heck am I going to do with dead bodies? I'm a vegetarian. Actually, a foodtarian. I DON'T EAT FOOD. I DON'T HAVE A MOUTH. And I don't kill people "for pleasure". That's just sadistic. You might have to ask my friend GLaDOS about killing people for pleasure.

My appendages are used for other things. Things that don't have anything to do with blood. I use them to juggle, hold things, type, and other simple tasks, BUT NOT MURDER.

#5 I mess with technology.

Yep. It's just a gift. Technology ALWAYS messes up when I'm around. Which sucks. (A/N My fourth grade teacher does this. She uses an activboard, and the lesson would mess up somehow. Wasted math time. It was awesome) Oh look. My word document for work has magically deleted itself. Yay.

#6 I drive people slowly to insanity.

Again, you'll have to ask my friend Herobrine about that. He's the only monster I know who likes to play jokes like that. And no, he does NOT drive them to insanity by haunting their dreams, causing hallucinations, OR becoming a voice inside their head. The worst thing he's ever done is have someone call the police. And all _that _was for was for dropping water balloons on people walking by outside our apartment window. Apparently having fun is a "public disruption". Soooo we dropped water balloons on the _sheriff's _head. We got an extra ticket, but it was worth it.

#7 I am solitary.

Kinda. I'm really shy, and it's hard for me to open up to people. :( My physiatrist is trying to help me with it. That's kind of why in the games I never talk, and what sucks is whenever I try to say something simple like "hi" or "Do you have some extra batteries for my flashlight?" They run away screaming "OMIGOD!SLENDERMAN! HE'S HERE! THAT GUY DOESN'T HAVE A FACE! WE'RE ALL GOING TO BLOODY DIE HERE!" I hate scaring people So much, but it isn't a problem for Herobrine.

#8 I'm evil.

What. The. Fudge. Seriousley? What do humans have against people with no face? I'm not evil. I'M NOT! I'm just like every other person! I can read, I can write, I can think! Why must you people be so prejudice? WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY? Does your culture think that not having a face makes me some sort of demon or something? THAT IS SICK!

#9 _

Sorry. My computer messed up on this one. Guess it proves #5, hehe.

#10 Message from viewers of slender: SLENDY YOU ARE AWESOME!

Aww… that's…. actually quite sweet of you all. I gues those guys who created the game were trying.. to… uh… help me. That's really nice of you. Thanks.

-Slenderman


End file.
